Overstimulated? We've got you.

We talk regularly about our children being overtired and overstimulated - at soft plays, birthday parties or after a day of school. Yet overstimulation is a very real and consistent theme we hear when talking with mothers at Mother Brand. 

Whilst wonderful in so many ways, bringing up children involves noise, chaos, limited personal space and incessant demands every single day. It’s full on - and on top of that backdrop, most mothers also have extended family, friends, work colleagues and social media accounts throwing stimulation and expectations their way. 

Top Tips to Help with Overstimulation 

Identify your triggers

Take some time to pinpoint what really gets to you. What are the parts of day to day life that are hardest to handle and which you’d most like to change? 

Triggers can include children whining, attempting adult small talk on playdates, being constantly required to provide physical touch or simply noise levels escalating in the car on the school run. Identifying your triggers is the first step in dealing with overstimulation. 

Manage your environments

You are an adult and you can exercise control as to where you spend time. Stepping up and getting strong on deciding which environments you do and don’t want to be in can help with avoiding getting overstimulated.

If you don’t like soft plays, don’t go. Your child’s development will not be hampered. If you find coffee shops too noisy for a catch up with another mum, suggest going for a walk instead. Realising that you don’t need to spend time in places where you don’t feel good is hugely liberating. 

Get Outside 

Getting fresh air and being in nature are both brilliant ways to regulate yourself and counteract feelings of overstimulation. 

Being outside works wonders with children so invest in good quality waterproofs for both you and your children so that you aren’t limited by bad weather. 

Limit Screen time 

As mums we often take to our phones and scroll social media to zone out - whether it’s at the playground or at home. Phones can be a great way to escape for a bit, to feel connected to other mums or chat with family. 

However if you’re feeling overstimulated, try to avoid simply feeding your brain more information by consuming excessive amounts of social media updates. Putting your phone down and looking out of the window or doing some stretches might just be more beneficial. 

Monitor your multitasking

Multitasking is a key part of being a mum. We spend most of our waking moments (day and night) thinking about more than one thing - which is the reason we manage to hold everything together, and why everything gets done. 

However, consistently multitasking and having multiple tabs open in your brain is one of the fastest ways to feel overstimulated. Try to monitor yourself when you are multitasking. 

Can you slow things down? Could you focus more fully on just one thing? Can you change the way you function to be slightly more present instead of juggling 6 things at once? It takes work but it can be done. 

Set up boundaries 

Mums are brilliant at people pleasing. Somehow we enable everyone else to stay happy and healthy, whilst forgetting that we have needs too and haven’t given ourselves much for far too long. 

Boundaries can vary hugely for different people. For some mums, scheduling down time in the weekly plan can help. If you know you’ve got clubs after school 3 days in a row, plan an evening with nothing on. If you have back to back playdates one morning, blank out the afternoon to just slow things down. 

Telling family or friends what you do and don’t need is also key in boundary setting. If visitors want to ‘pop by’ at tea time and you know this will distract the children, you are fully entitled to say no. If friends want to come over for lunch when your child is going to be napping, try to push them later so you don’t lose your chance to reset.